I have acquired quite the bad driver reputation lately. Actually, I have acquired a "high risk" driving reputation. I will admit, I have never been the go-the-speed-limit kinda driver. I have even at times felt like I was above the driving laws. I think this is hereditary stemming from my daddy. He has as many tickets as he has hairs on his head. Wait, there are very few of those these days. Okay, so he has as many tickets as he has smart-ass comments to make, which is quite a few. My dad is notorious for getting two at a time. I have fallen into my dear old dad's footsteps.
Before I met my husband in 2004, I had never had a speeding ticket or a ticket of any kind. I think that maybe this is because I lived in a small town. Heck, who am I kidding, I had a few uncles high up in the police force in my home town, that's why I never had any tickets. In my high school years, I think I was probably pulled over about 15 times! Never a ticket! Phew! Made it through that one flashing my
Hallman last name! Sweetness!!!!!!
So once you get married and put on that ring, does all your cuteness or please-don't-give-me-a-ticket power go away?? I think so. Within months of getting married, at the age of 21, I got three tickets, at the same time. I was actually moving all of my belongings down to Pensacola, Florida to move in with my husband. I had my Altima loaded down with girly stuff and my girly dog on the last stretch of highway before coming into Pensacola from Lincolnton, NC. I'm rolling about 20 over the speed limit and get the blue lights. Mind you, my girly dog, Louis, named after my favorite designer, Louis Vuitton, is climbing all over my head and I cannot see out of any of my windows due to all my clothes and gifts from housewarming parties. The officer, a Florida state trooper, says, "Ma'am, you were going twenty over with expired license plate and an inspection that has been out for a few months." Well, damn. Guess as a married woman, it isn't up to my parents to take care of my inspection and registration any more. Big fat sad face:(
This doesn't upset my new husband terribly. At this point, we are still new and this just seems like a fluke. I pay it off, get up-to-date on all of my affairs. I'm good to go! No big, it's over and all is well. Little did I know that all the fun was about to begin.
Before moving to Norfolk, VA, our current place of residence and duty station, my husband moved to San Diego, CA for training. I stayed in NC with my family until we made the move to VA. While he was in CA, he was cited for 105 mph in a 65 mph zone. I let it go. We are even across the board at this point. Although in my heart I know that I am the better person because my ticket was at a much less speed. Welllll, I guess I did get three tickets in one so maybe I'm not the better person. Either way, we are square.
On his way to VA, he gets yet another speeding ticket. Ha! I laugh. So what!? It's funny! It's only funny because on our way back to my hometown before VA, I got a speeding ticket as well!!! Tricked ya!!! So we are 2-2 at this point. Is this some kind of sick game?
Once in VA, we go for a stretch without any tickets. Until, Matt goes on deployment. That is when the tickets start racking up. At first, I just hire lawyers to take care of my mistakes with the extra deployment money that we are receiving. I go for another good spell with no tickets. Then I get my Pacifica and it's like a cop magnet. I think that in the two years that I had that car, I received or EARNED seven tickets...give or take. Mostly give.
There was even a time when Matt was deployed again that I received two tickets at one time, again. I was going about 18 over. With an expired license. Okay so I live in a different state!!! I had just had a baby and I was on my way to NC to get my license renewed in Lincolnton!! Give me a break people! So the trooper comes up to my window as my children are screaming their heads off. He tells me, "I should call a wrecker to pick up your car because technically you don't have an operator's license but with those, ummm, kids screaming I'm just gonna turn my head and let you go on." I almost kissed his face off. There would have been nobody to come and pick up Avary, Colicky Collin, and me. My parents were still five hours away as was Matt's family. I got a lawyer for this one.
There was one ticket that I got a couple of months ago that I didn't tell Matt about. I told all my girlfriends and my sisters but I was so scared to tell Matt. I thought that I could maybe raise the money myself to pay for the ticket and get a cashier's check. This way, I wouldn't have to pay out of my bank account and Matt would never find out! Epic fail. I couldn't raise the money in time so I had to confess. He was sooooo mad but mainly because I had kept it from him for a month. He paid it and came to my rescue once again, angrily.
After many tickets, I moved on to straight up wrecking the shit out of my car. I was driving in my neighborhood and hit a pothole so big that it busted my tire. I panicked and drove the couple of blocks home before assessing the damage. When I got out and looked at it, I felt sick. I might have even vomited. My tire was completely shredded off the rim. There was just a bent up retarded looking rim where my tire used to be! I call the husband, he freaks on me but we call State Farm and get it fixed. Almost $1500 later on our part, I have four new tires, an alignment, struts and a new rim.
A week later, I go visit my parents in NC. Deer jumps out in front of me, swerve, mailboxes, ditch, totaled car. Thank God the kids weren't with me! I totaled the shit out of my car! I wait until morning to tell Matt. He doesn't believe me at first. Wait, there is a funny story about this that I must tell. I had just left my best friend, Sabrina's, house. After the wreck, I call her and she sends her husband. When he arrives on the scene, I tell him to drive to my parents house to wake them. The next day, my dad tells me that Jonathan, Sabrina's husband, knocks on the door as he was asleep and my dad jumps up to answer. Jonathan says, "Shannon have rick." My dad says, "Uhhh, no she don't. Rick is right here." Rick is my parents dog. Jonathan is Costa Rican and has a strong Spanish accent and he thought Jonathan was saying that I had Rick, the damn dog! He says again, "No, Shannon have rick!!!! She is on Buffalo Shoals Road and she have rick!!!!" My dad catches on and is like, "Shannon, Buffalo Shoals Road, WRECK!!! Let's GO!!!!" So back to Matt, he doesn't believe me until the insurance company says, "We will issue you a check for $12,000." I think Matt sees motorcycles in his future. He's happy, that I'm okay, of course;)
What I did not tell Matt is that only days before this accident, I had gotten yet another speeding ticket. This one I was sure I could get the money for and pay without him ever knowing. I ask my sister, a former police officer, and her husband, a current CMPD Sergeant to give me advice. "Is this going to be on my record since I'm out of state?" These procrastinating fools never give me an answer! What's the good in having police officers in your family if they never give you helpful info!!!!!
A few weeks after the wreck, I still haven't confessed the wreck to Matt. I raise some money and borrow some from my friend, Shelbi to pay for my ticket. Among all my girlfriends, this is a secret! No husbands involved and all of these ladies are so loyal to me that they hold true. I think I am in the clear! I paid the ticket and it's over and done with!
As Matt and I are traveling back from a dear friends wedding in GA, I am asleep but awakened by Matt's loud conversation with his mom. She is explaining to Matt that she received a letter from State Farm stating they are dropping me from our insurance policy. EEEEEKKKKKK!!!! Panic rises in my stomach. After he hangs up, I "wake up" and talk about it with him. Later in the day, I confess to him that I had gotten another ticket which is probably why State Farm is dropping me. He stays calm, amazingly. But the storm is yet to come.
State Farm is dropping me due to two wrecks and upwards of seven citations. Boo. Matt pleads with them to not drop me because what insurance company will take me now!? He battles with them for days. "Please just let us stay with State Farm because we have been with you forever!" They tell him they will let him know.
Now, I realize that State Farm may take away my insurance but they cannot take away my dignity! I drive most of the time with screams from the back seat, flying toys, Veggie Tales blaring on the radio and spoiled sippy cup milk stench in the air. Not to mention that I have to drive half of the time from the back seat because someone dropped a toy and won't quit crying about it! I want to give up my driving privileges. I hate driving. I would rather sit in the passenger seat and relax or sleep) than constantly be made a victim of! Okay so maybe I am not the victim but my kids make me feel that way.
State Farm has decided to keep me with an increase in premiums and with the agreement that I be placed in a "high risk" category. They are giving me, "ONE MORE CHANCE!". Bite me State Farm because we pay you a million dollars a year already.
One day, I will be able to drive in peace where my kids sit contently in the back seat, valuing their lives enough to leave me alone and let me drive. I wonder, sitting behind the wheel everyday, "How did we make it this far??"
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