The trials of THIS MOM

I am a mom of two beautiful children.  I use this term very lightly because they are ugly!  What I mean is those two have very ugly attitudes!  I like to think of my motherly endeavors as daily trials and tribulations. I am a spiritual woman, I love Jesus and I try to teach my children how to walk the christian walk.  But those two are demons and I'm sure I've witnessed their heads spinning with projectile vomit.

 My sweet baby girl, four year old Avary, was my first born.  My heart and soul.  My miracle.  I was told that children weren't in my future and to medicate with fertility drugs and hope and pray but don't get my hopes up.  After a solid year of baby-making and fertility drugs, much to my husband's merriment, we popped positive.  We were so happy but little did we know that a positive result on this test was much like popping positive on an STD test.  This was something we had to live with forever.

A long an grueling eight months later, because thank God I went early, our precious bouncing baby girl was born!!  I thought, "phew, what a breeze!"  Labor was nothing and pushing was a joke!  My sisters and mama even comment on how "Zen" my delivery room was.  No screaming, no crying, nothing.  Just bam, Ta-da, here's Avary.

Oh, I tell you, this baby was beautiful!  Perfect.  When I held this angel in my arms for the first time, I smiled and cried because it was then that I knew I had entered the first circle of Hell.

After two blissful, disastrous years, I yearned for another infant.  I got the baby fever bad.  My sister gave birth to a perfect little boy and I held that little monster and made a vow to myself to give it another shot.  My Avary was walking and nearly talking.  My arms ached with a real pain to cradle a sweet little baby boy.  However, I was told that having one baby could "fix" me and I could have babies on my own or have to do fertility treatments once again.

Ladies, ladies, ladies, and gentlemen if you are reading, I swear with all my heart and soul that I thought that I couldn't have babies on my own so I told my husband that contraception was a joke for us!  HA!  Low and behold, I got pregnant the same week my sister was giving birth!  Must be like some karma in the air because I got exactly what I wished for!  Do you remember how your mama used to say, "Be careful what you wish for because you might just get it."  Well, I got it.  Lord almighty did I get it.  I think the Lord was punishing me for bugging the hell out of him with my baby wishes and prayers.  He said, "Shannon, I'm gonna give you that baby and damn if it's not gonna cost you!"

Let me back it up a bit.  My husband is in the Navy and deploys often.  Well, we had just bought a new house.  Our first house ever.  We moved in and immediately found out that I was pregnant.  The kicker is that he was due to deploy to Bahrain the next week!!!!  F#&K!  I'm pregnant, I have an 18 month old, a new house, and my husband is leaving the country for six months!  FML...if you know what that means.

I toughed out six months with the wonderful help of my wonderfully crazy family and my husband's equally crazy family.  Understand that I have been blessed with three (my husbands parents are divorced) of the best families that I could have ever asked for and I love every single one of them with all of my tired heart.

Long story short, husband comes home to humongous wife who is almost due and a crazy two year old. Adjustments needed.  We deal, we do it as every military family does.  Let me tell you how I go into labor, is this off subject?  Anywho, I walk a ridiculous amount and take a shot of castor oil and maybe a bit of nipple stimulation, because I hear it releases oxytocin which makes you umm, go into labor or something.  All right, so with Collin, I go into labor.  Goes good, about nine and a half hours of excruciating labor later, I'm thinking, "I thought this was easy!"  Avary must have been a fluke because Collin was tearing my insides apart!

Collin made his debut and he was just as beautiful as my Avary was!  I bonded with this baby instantly.  I held that little villain in my arms and crooned a lullaby as sweet as an hymn.  During my love song to my baby, I look up and see my mother-in-law's boyfriend, Everette, enter the room to take a peek at the baby.  This would have been so cool except that my bloody, blown out vagina was on display for the world to see!  I'm so sure that every time he looks at me now, he sees my mangled vagina.  How embarrassing!!

However, as I am cuddling my second-born, my sweet baby boy, I smile and cry because it was then that I knew I had entered the second circle of Hell.........